Summer Song
by literarylolita
Summary: It is the summer after Eli's first year of College. Despite their solid relationship, Clare has grown increasingly distant from him.  She shows up at Two A.M. wanting only one thing, but what's really going on? Please read. Idk about this. M for a BIG reason
1. Romp

**A/N: Okay, so I got this idea while listening to Fall Out Boy's "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)." I really don't know why, or if I will/should continue with this. I wanted to write a fic in which CLARE is the one who's messed up and needs Eli, not the other way around. Let me know what you think?**

**Oh, and just a warning: This is my first attempt at a "dark" fic and it will be very, VERY smutty. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

_Eli_

Eli sighed as he took in the somewhat barren apartment; Sav had just finished moving out, taking the majority of the furniture and décor with him. All that remained was an old black futon, a TV (that sat on the floor), some pictures of Clare, CeCe, Bullfrog, and Adam, and a crappy Ed Hardy painting on the far wall. His room still had the usual: desk, bed and band posters, but Eli couldn't suppress the feeling a shopping trip would find its way into his future.

"_Maybe Clare will go with me," _he dared to think (hope for).

His freshman year of college went by in a blur; he earned a full ride to Ryerson University and chose to live in an apartment closer to the school over the option of staying home with his parents and dorm life. His classes were kickass; he chose (what else?) English as his major (despite the fact he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life). Halfway through last semester, Sav, his friend Peter, Adam, and Eli formed a band: Dynamic Static. They just played shitty covers at the local college dives, but the musical experience proved to be a fun escape. Eli and his guitar (Matty the Fender) had grown rather close over the years.

All seemed well in Eli's world except for one little (big) thing: the past three months beat the shit out of Eli's relationship with Clare. She grew more and more distant as time went by. Oh, she still picked up when he called (most of the time) and occasionally came over to watch movies with him. Of course she proved herself a loyal girlfriend and never missed a single one of his shows. Despite Clare's physical presence, it seemed as though she was never quite _all there_ around Eli.

The last night of summer before Eli started College (and his first night in his apartment), the two made love for the very first time. The night was as close to perfect as it could realistically be, and afterwards sex became a regular thing for them. Eli had worried Clare would regret breaking her promise, but every time he showcased that doubt she shushed him with a peck on the cheek and ran her fingers over the cool metal of what _was _her purity ring. He now wore it on his thumb.

Clare hadn't let Eli touch her since Spring break, and he had no idea why.

All he knew was that he really missed his girlfriend. No clues came to him about her sudden change in demeanor, and he'd be lying if he claimed to not be worried. Clare, _his_ Clare was pushing everyone who cared for her, even him, away…

Melancholy musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who in the hell-" Eli glanced at his cell phone. "It's two in the morning…" he looked through the peep hole and was startled to see the woman haunting his thoughts. Opening the door immediately, he breathed her name: "Clare."

He could barely take in her pale, thin (yet still beautiful) appearance before she (and her lips) were on him. Startled, he wrapped his arms around her shrinking waist and pressed her chest to his. Her grip around his neck tightened as she kicked the door closed and spun him around to press him against it. Her tongue demanded entrance into his crooked mouth, and before his mind could leave completely and let his body take over, Eli regretfully pulled away.

She looked up at him questioningly, her pale blue eyes darkened by lust. A curious expression donned her face, and he tilted his head. "What are you doing here, Clare?"

She bit her lip. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

Eli rolled his eyes. "You know I am, but it's two in the morning. What's wrong?"

Her eyes never left his as her lips curved upwards. "I just missed you." Her voice came out husky, and Eli didn't stop her when she jumped up and squeezed his waist with her legs. His hands cupped her ass for support, and with warring lips attached to hers, he carried her to his room.

They tumbled clumsily onto his bed, a mess of rumpled clothes and limbs. Eli took his vest off as Clare hurriedly worked the buttons of his shirt. "Eli…quickly," Clare whispered as she shed her red jacket. He leaned over to kiss her deeply, working the buttons of his jeans all the while. Clare shimmied out of her navy sundress. Eli's eyes widened to see she wasn't wearing a bra, and she barely blushed before straddling him, her panties and his boxers the only obnoxious barriers in their way. Their lips collided again, and Eli groaned when Clare grinded her groin over his.

"Oh, God, Clare…" he buried his face in her pale chest and she ran her fingers through his dark hair, a little longer than usual, tugging at the roots. "Where have you BEEN lately, Baby?"

"Shh," Clare held a finger up to his swollen lips. "Just love me, Eli." Her lips and teeth soon marked territory on his neck and collarbone; all he could do was groan at the sensation. She always knew how to please him.

"You know I love you, Clare…oh God…" Clare moved her mouth down his abdomen, nipping a trail along her way. Smirking mischievously, she took the waistband of her boyfriend's underwear between her teeth and pulled them down. "Clare?" Eli raised an eyebrow. She answered by taking his full length into her mouth at once, moving her head up and down at such a pace it literally took the breath right out of him. "Oh, for the love of-FUCK, Clare!" Eli felt like he could blow at any moment, but that just wouldn't do. Long, slender fingers ran through curly auburn hair before pulling on it. Clare looked up, confused. Eli's mouth once again attacked hers and in one swift moment she was pinned under him. "Your turn, Baby." She shuddered and closed her eyes, surrendering and submitting to Eli more easily than she typically would have liked. It had been far too long since they were intimate.

Eli wasted no time in pleasuring the girl he adored. He tweaked one nipple between his index finger and thumb, making her whine for more. His hot mouth worked the other one; he hadn't even moved lower yet and already her hips were bucking. Smirking, he (literally) ripped off her panties and plunged two fingers into her; she cried out at the welcome intrusion. It _was_ what she came here for, after all. "Fuck, Clare," he muttered. Three months without sex had tightened her up a good bit; it didn't seem possible. Hell, her BEING here didn't seem possible. The months of her slipping further away with each day instilled a fear in him.

"_I'm here, as long as you need me."_

Forever. He needed her forever.

"Clare…" he continued his simulations, hitting her spot with ease; she was drenched. "I need you…" He didn't just mean in the physical sense…he didn't just mean in the now.

"Eli," she choked out through her pleasure, "…for the love of God, just fuck me already."

He didn't have to be told twice.

Eli's strong hands pinned Clare's thin wrists behind her head, and if he had been in his right mind he would have noticed how bony she seemed since he last saw her this way. With no hesitation, he plunged into her and winced as she cried out. _It really HAD been a while._ "Oh, GOD," he groaned, trying not to move so she could adjust to his foreign size.

"Eli…" Clare moaned. She bit his shoulder. "Move, Dammit."

Looking into her eyes, he complied, moving slowly in and out. Her hips met every thrust, and though he could swear he saw her wince, Clare cried out in pleasure. "Faster, Eli…I want you to _fuck me, God dammit."_

Her swearing surprised Eli…and turned him on. Before he knew what he was doing, his hips bucked wildly of their own accord; the two lovers had no rhythm; they were merely a moving heap of sweat, passion, and something Eli couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Eli, I'm close…I'm going to…" Eli reached to where their bodies were joined and rubbed her clit roughly, helping her along. Feeling her walls clench around him as she moaned his name, Eli let himself go so they could ride out their orgasms together. He collapsed on top of her, still buried deep within.

"Clare…" he trailed off sleepily. "I love you."

"Thank you," she squeaked out.

"For what?" He rolled off her and pulled her close, kissing her messy hair.

"Making me feel." She snuggled in closer to him.

Eli didn't know what to say, so he just held her tightly and thanked the God he didn't believe in she was there.

_Maybe they would be okay._

**A/N: So? Should I continue? Please review!**


	2. Rage

**A/N: Well, it seems as though people like this story! Sorry it took me a while to get this out. Since I wasn't sure I'd continue, I barely had an outline, so I solidified that before writing this chapter. I'm really trying here, but this is a bit difficult for me to write. Not sure why. Please let me know what you think!**

**Oh, if you want to follow me on twitter, please do! I'm under the same name: literarylolita**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Clare

Clare rolled over the morning after the night she showed up at Eli's door and threw herself at him. Sunlight blazed through the window; early summer's heat burned her forehead. She leaned over a sleeping Eli to check the clock. "Shit," she muttered softly; it read nine o'clock. She planned to be home by now.

Very carefully, Clare eased her naked body out from under the covers. Taking care to be quiet while dressing she gazed at her boyfriend.

_He looked peaceful, not at all like she felt._

Clare wasn't an idiot; she knew Eli felt neglected. Ever since Spring break, she had been far busier than ever before in their relationship. New responsibilities placed a heavy weight on Clare's shoulders; she hardly had time to think anymore. Pushing Eli away was the last thing she wanted to do (besides talking about everything.) Eli knew her too well. If the couple spent too much time together, he'd figure out something was eating at Clare; the stubborn boy wouldn't give up until Clare confided in him, either.

When Clare tossed in a sleepless frenzy last night in her bed at home, Eli haunted her mind. She _needed_ to see him. After throwing clothes on she hopped into her car and headed across town to the comforting arms she knew and missed.

Leaning down to kiss Eli's forehead, she whispered an "I love you" before slipping out.

_For a moment in time, she could forget._

_Eli_

Eli woke up and rolled over to nothing but mussed sheets. Sitting up, a bit alarmed, he called: "Clare?"

No answer.

Before he could think her showing up and basically fucking his brains out had been a dream, he caught a whiff of her scent from the pillow next to him.

"Where did she go?" the dark hair boy wondered aloud as he tumbled out of bed. "Clare?"

Not in the kitchen.

Not in the bathroom.

Eli grabbed his phone and texted Clare.

_**Where are you? Are you ok?**_

No answer, so he tried again.

_**Are WE ok?**_

Nothing.

Clare

Clare sighed when she passed the threshold of her home.

"Clare, is that you?" called the familiar voice from upstairs.

"Yeah, it's me Darcy." Clare trudged up the stairs and into her bedroom. Well, what WAS her bedroom.

"Where were you all night?" the elder Edwards asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Out. Where's Mom?"

"Out WHERE?" Darcy tried to sit up from her reclined position on the bed. "And she had to leave at nine. You knew that."

"Darcy…" Clare sighed and sat at the foot of the bed.

"She is really mad at you."

"Yeah, I figured that."

"Were you with Eli?"

Clare paused. "Yes."

Darcy's face softened. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"It's my fault you haven't seen him as much."

Clare felt guilty for thinking exactly what her sister just expressed and for lying about it too. "No Darcy, it's most definitely not." She stood and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm going to shower then I'll make us some brunch. Okay?"

Darcy smiled softly. "Okay."

_Eli_

Eli stomped into his favorite coffee shop, The Donkey, annoyed. He hadn't heard from Clare since their romp a week ago. Needless to say, he was pissed.

The few members of his poetry club from school still in town for break agreed to meet twice a month over the summer. He enjoyed his college friends; they were much more like him than the majority of the robots that walked the halls of his high school. That is, they had brains and if they were fictional characters on paper, they would no doubt be three dimensional.

"Hey, Eli!" Bruno, a burly guy most wouldn't associate with feelings and poetry came up to hug Eli. "How are you?"

"Ugh-can't-breathe!" Eli grunted out as Bruno squeezed him too tightly.

"Sorry!" Eli's feet ended up firmly on the floor. "Are you reading tonight?"

Eli held up his black moleskin notebook. "Think so."

"That's great!" With the grin of a cheshire cat, Bruno headed to the back room, which was decorated in deep purple tones with vintage hats hanging on the wall. It was quirky and one of the reasons Eli loved the place.

"Can I just have a large coffee?" Eli asked Liza, the owner of Donkey.

"Sure thing, Eli." The middle aged woman grinned. "Black?"

"Must you ask?" Eli smirked. He liked Liza; she was a hippie in every sense of the word, from her bohemian beaded skirts to the braids of her graying brown hair. She often slipped him free coffee when it wasn't too busy.

"Where's Clare? I haven't seen her with you here lately."

Eli frowned. "I'm not really sure, Liza. She's been…" he trailed off, not wanting to burden his friend with what could be seen as trivial problems.

"She's been…?" Liza handed Eli the coffee and waved his cash away. "It's on me."

"Thanks," Eli grinned sheepishly and stuck the bills back in the pocket of his skinny jeans. "She's just been different for a while now. Distant. I haven't heard from her in a week."

"Hmm." She turned around to wash her hands. "Have you asked her about it?"

Eli grinned. "Nope."

Liza rolled her eyes. "You're a dumbass."

"I know." Eli winked and left to join his friends. A surprise awaited him.

Clare Edwards lounged in one of the mauve bean bags, looking gorgeous. Her navy sundress left just enough to the imagination and the curls on her head were full of body and shine. Even in the soft candlelight of the room, her eyes sparkled; one winked at Eli and waved him over.

Reluctantly, he complied. Much of his pride danced out the window when it came to Clare. Not sitting, he asked the obvious question: "What are you doing here?"

His girlfriend (was she still?) frowned. "I came to hear the poetry. I always come."

"No, Clare." Eli sighed and sat next to her. "You don't."

Clare avoided his gaze.

"Look at me, Blue Eyes." She did. "Do we need to…talk?"

She shook her head and held out a lily-white hand. "Come with me?" Her voice was extremely quiet.

As if it had a mind of its own, Eli's hand took Clare's and he allowed himself to be led outside and into the alley next to Donkey.

"Clare, I-" he was (in a rather clichéd manner) cut off by her lips and pressed up against the rough brick wall. Clare wasted no time slipping her tongue into Eli's mouth and doing things with it she never had. Though he still wanted to talk, Eli kissed her back with equal fervor (how could he not?)

She pulled away and swiftly attacked his neck with her teeth. "I need you so fucking bad right now, Eli…"

"Oh God," he groaned as she bit his ear with force. "Clare…Edwards…come on…stop…"

"Eli, shut up!" Clare roughly grabbed Eli's hand and dragged him deeper into the alley where she promptly resumed her ministrations on his neck.

"Oh, FUCK…" He moaned, for he is only human, after all.

Clare pulled away, a glint in her eyes. Falling to her knees, she undid Eli's fly and dragged his tight jeans down in the blink of an eye. Before Eli could attempt to remedy his confusion, Clare was going down to him in a ferocious manner.

"CLARE!" But even as he called her name in joy, Eli couldn't help but wonder…

_Who are you?_

"Yes, Eli?" Clare eased up. Receiving no reply from her lover, Clare asked in a simple tone: "Well? Aren't you going to ravish me?"

She slowly began to pull her dress over her head.

With angry movements, Eli stopped her. "Not. Here." He hissed. Clare pouted, but didn't protest as Eli led her out of the alley and into the back of Morty.

As Eli took in the gorgeous, yet obviously troubled Clare's sultry gaze from the floor of his hearse, all ounces of resolve seeped out of his pores. He was on her in a flash, tearing her dress over her head while she did the same to his shirt. His pants, still undone, slid off with relative ease and eager hands removed undergarments.

Leaning over her with dominance, Eli growled. "You better talk to me tomorrow, Edwards." Clare ignored this statement and hoisted her hips up, forcing Eli inside her. "Oh…"

He pounded into her, rage at her change in demeanor and attitude evident. All frustrations leaked from his heart and body. Fearing he might lose it all too soon, Eli pulled out and earned a filthy look from Clare. "What the fuck, Eli!" To answer her cry of protest, Eli flipped her over.

"Get on your hands and knees, Clare," he hissed through his teeth.

"That's more like it!" Clare cried as she obeyed. Eli grabbed her hips and thrust into her roughly, his grip probably tighter than it needed to be. "Oh, GOD Eli! Harder!"

He complied.

"Come on, Goldsworthy, is that really all you've got?" Clare turned around, an eyebrow raised on her pale face.

"You asked for it," Eli yelled. He weaved his fingers through her tossled tresses and pulled harder than he ever had. She cried out in pain and lifted herself to him, bare back against bare torso. Through it all, Eli's thrusts became more and more pronounced with more and more erratic power. "Do you like that, Edwards?"

"It's..alright…" Clare panted.

"Fuck you, Clare…this better be more than _alright_." Eli's hands moved from her hair to her breasts, where he tweaked and teased her nipples mercilessly. This sent her over the edge, and as walls clenched around his dick of their own accord, Eli let himself release too.

They collapsed, Clare's stomach on Morty and Eli's on her back. The stench of sweat and sex filled the small, compact area, suffocating the couple in their aftermath.

Eli couldn't help himself; he still had questions that required answers, but all he could do is voice a simple truth.

"I love you, Clare."

Clare

Those four words made Clare tremble. "I have to go," she muttered, throwing on her dress and stuffing her undergarments into her purse.

"What? Why?" Eli sat up and pulled his boxers on.

"I'll call you later, okay?" She looked at him sadly and leaned over to peck his lips. "I love you too."

With that, she was gone. Again.

**A/N: Serious confrontation in the next chapter. Let me know what you think and your theories ;)**


	3. Run

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Lots of reasons, I swear, but the truth is your probably don't care. I'm working on the next chapter as soon as I post this, so read, review, and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. If I did, I wouldn't allow promos like the ones we've seen. -_-**

**Special shout out: Thank you, floorplanhobo, for helping me with this. I'm using one of her ideas, and as anyone reading this is bound to know, she is an amazing author. That's right, "amazing" without the damn "y."**

Clare

"Clare…wake up." The sleeping girl opened her eyes and looked up from the couch to see her sister hovering over her.

"Darcy!" The younger Edwards immediately awoke. "What are you doing out of bed?" She frantically moved to get Darcy to sit down.

"Calm down, little sis, I feel okay this morning." Despite these words, Darcy looked tired as she sat.

Clare rolled her eyes and ran upstairs to gather Darcy's meds from the bathroom. On the way, she peeked in on her mother, who was passed out on her bed. "Of course…" Clare mumbled, entering her destination. Her reflection caught her by surprise. She stared straight ahead, wondering who the stranger was looking back at her. Clare, once healthy and happy with a curvy body and bright skin, now looked sickly and just…sad. Her clothes hung off her shrunken frame, little to no curves to speak of. She'd always been on the pale side, but now her skin bordered on alabaster white with the exception of purple rings around her now grey eyes. Shaking her head, Clare splashed some cold water on her face and grabbed Darcy's meds.

Clare heard shuffling on the couch as she pounded down the stairs. "Darcy?"

"Yeah, Clare?" Darcy was hunched over, looking intently at something.

"What are you looking at?" Clare asked on her way to fill a glass with water.

"Your phone." Darcy spoke calmly, as if she wasn't invading her younger sister's privacy.

"Excuse me?" Clare asked, disbelief lacing her tone. "Put it down and take these." She shoved the pills and water towards Darcy, who obeyed. Clare grabbed her phone back, and saw that Darcy was reading a text Eli sent an hour or so ago.

_**You said you'd call, so I thought I'd text to remind you. Don't be mad, but we REALLY need to talk. –Eli**_

Oh, no.

He had finally grown tired of her shit. The distance, the making love to him and running with no explanation…it had only been hours since their tryst in Morty, and he already didn't think she would call.

Maybe he was right.

Clare was scared of so many things. But the thing that terrified her most was the thought of Eli leaving her.

_I can't do this._

"Are you feeling okay?" Clare asked Darcy, standing up frantically. "Really?"

"Yeah, Clare, I'm fine, why?" Darcy stood as well.

"Mom's asleep upstairs. I have to go, okay?" Clare kissed Darcy on the cheek and grabbed the suitcase she had been living out of.

"Clare, where are you going?" Darcy tried to chase her to the front door, but was just too weak.

Clare slammed the door of her car and roared the engine to life.

She had to get out. Never in her life had she been so overwhelmed and…suffocated.

_Eli,_ the next day

"God DAMMIT," Eli groaned as he slammed Morty's hood.

"Whoa…Eli, chill, man." Peter was at Eli's, attempting to help him fix the hearse (despite the fact that he knew next to nothing about cars).

"Sorry," Eli muttered as he wiped his hands. "I'm not in the best of moods. It's not cool of me to snap like that."

"It's fine. Why don't we take a break?" Peter offered.

"We?" Eli scoffed. "I think you've been taking a break since you got here. No offense." The two boys laughed.

"Yeah, when I said I'd help, I really meant I'd just stand here and keep you company," confessed Peter. "To be honest, I don't really know SHIT about cars."

"Really?" Eli asked, sarcasm dripping with the two syllables (good, good for him). He motioned for Peter to follow him up to his place.

"So what's got you in this funk, kid?" Peter asked, following Eli into the kitchen. Eli sighed and grabbed two cokes from his fridge, offering one to his guest.

"It's…Clare," Eli admitted, hopping on his counter. "Something is wrong with her, she won't tell me what, and it's kind of wrecking our relationship."

"What do you mean?" asked Peter, sitting on a bar stool.

"Well, she hadn't let me touch her since spring break." He took a swig. "Until about a week and a half ago."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Go on…"

"Well, it wasn't just that. She'd been…distant. And 'busy'." Eli made air quotes with his fingers.

"She did seem kind of out of it at our shows," Peter offered.

"Exactly. I mean she let me kiss her and she hugged me goodbye but…well, you know what I mean." Eli shot Peter a meaningful look. "Anyway, the other day, she just shows up and attacks me. I mean, this is CLARE we're talking about. She's always been shy when it comes to sex, and we're closer than anyone I know."

"Oh man, it just registered we're talking about 'Saint Clare' here." Peter made a face. "To me, she's always going to be the twelve-year-old girl in a Catholic school uniform."

"Believe me, that night she wasn't so saintly," chuckled Eli. "She basically fucked my brains out. She stayed over and everything seemed fine, but she wasn't here when I woke up the next morning."

"Ha! She hit you and quit you?"

Eli narrowed his eyes. "Really, Dude?"

"Sorry." Peter turned his attention back to the soda in his hand.

"It's fine. Anyway, she showed up at Donkey two nights ago after not talking to me for a week. Seriously, she didn't answer when I called, respond to my texts, nothing. I was kind of pissed, but then she looked at me and…"

"…and you're whipped." Peter laughed.

Eli scowled but didn't deny it. "Whatever. She summons me to the alley, attacks me with her lips, then goes down on me right there, in PUBLIC."

Peter spit his drink out. "WHAT?"

"Clean that up," Eli snapped, handing him a towel. "But yeah. I took her to Morty. When we were done she ran off again, swearing she'd talk to me the next day. Obviously she didn't. Hence my bad mood."

"Have you tried calling her?"

"No. I'm not going to. She needs to come to me. I sent her one text, but that's it." Eli's phone started vibrating in his pocket.

"Maybe it's her," Peter offered.

"Holy Shit, it is!" Eli's face lit up at the name flashing across his screen. "Hey, Baby. You finally decided to speak to me?" He tried (and failed) to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"_Hi, Eli, this isn't Clare…"_ The voice wasn't one Eli recognized.

"Um, okay? Who is this, then?" He was terribly confused.

"_It's Darcy, Clare's sister."_

Eli frowned. "I thought you were in Africa?"

"_It's a long story. Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but is Clare with you?"_

"No, she's not…why?" A ball of nerves formed in Eli's stomach.

"_She just took off yesterday. We thought she just needed a break, but…"_

"A break from WHAT?" Eli interrupted.

"_She's just gone, Eli. We have no clue where she is and were hoping you could help…"_

Eli hung up immediately and turned to Peter. "Dude, I need to borrow your car."

**A/N: Sorry for no smut, but there will be a rather…IMPORTANT smut scene in the next chapter or the one after it. So review **


	4. Rescue

**A/N: Well, here you go! This chapter explains what's going on with Clare. Well, most of it ;)**

**For the record, I have NO idea what the border patrol/visitation regulations are. I winged it with a little help from deeisbest on Twitter. Thanks for being Canadian! I also want to thank themusiksnob, devinfabulous, and, as always, my bestie floorplanhobo. You guys always read and review and talk to me about this fic! Working on next chapter right away. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I own seasons 1-5 of Criminal Minds on DVD, but not Degrassi. I only have season 2 of that ;)**

_Eli_

Eli sped down the highway, thankful he remembered to grab his passport out of Morty before taking off in Peter's Corolla. If Clare was upset, Eli could think of only one place she might run to (besides to him, of course). He sighed as he slowed the car to a stop in line for the toll booth into New York and thought back to that perfect fall weekend he spent with Clare.

"_Eli, this is amazing. How did you hear about it?" Clare giggled with delight as she took in the room Eli booked for them at the Bed and Breakfast. It was a beautiful fall weekend, and Eli decided to sweep her off her feet (in a rather literal manner) and take her away. She had been hesitant to just up and leave for a whole weekend, but he persuaded her with puppy dog eyes and a petulant pout._

"_Cece and my grandma found it a month or so ago." Eli sat their luggage on the bed with a checkered quilt on it. "They go on random day trips, just exploring. Mom fell in love with the used bookshop downstairs and Grams liked the furniture store down the street."_

"_Wow, they ended up on the other side of Buffalo?" Clare asked as she went to check out the bathroom._

"_Ha. Sometimes, the two of them take weekend journeys to New England just for tea. They love finding small, charming towns. I know that's surprising, knowing my mother." Eli shook his head as he took in the quaint room: light blue wallpaper adorned the walls and large oak chests served as dressers. Everything, down to the art on the walls, appeared to be an antique, but the collection was incredibly eclectic. It was funky, different, and dare he say it…cute. It was just like Clare; as soon as Cece showed Eli the brochure he knew he and Clare must head to the B&B for a getaway, just the two of them._

"_Remind me to thank your mom for finding this place," Clare sing-songed, dancing back into the room. She threw her arms around Eli and they tumbled on the bed._

"_If this is the reaction I get, remind ME to thank her," Eli chuckled, bringing Clare's face towards his for a sweet kiss. She pulled away and he ran his fingers through her hair, smirking. "How much do you want to check out the bookstore downstairs?"_

_Clare laughed. "You know me too well!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room. _

"_Did I mention they have first editions?" Eli raised an eyebrow as his girlfriend dragged him downstairs._

"_God, I LOVE you!"_

"Sir, I need to see your license and passport." Eli snapped out of his memory and handed the border cop his credentials.

"Are you entering the U.S. for business or pleasure?" asked the guard as he looked over Eli's information.

Eli laughed. _Neither. Can I be here for duty?_

"Pleasure," he stated. The cop nodded and handed Eli his stuff back. "Enjoy your time in the States, Sir."

Eli thanked him and crossed into New York, eager to get to the other side of Buffalo and to the Books & Breakfast inn he and Clare fell in love with all those months ago.

"Why does shit always have to change when it's finally, FINALLY good?" Eli mused. He shook his head, turned up the crap CD his band mate called music and increased the Corolla's speed.

Clare

Clare sat on her rented bed and stared straight ahead. She had completely flipped; she ran, she cried, she slept (but only after swallowing half a bottle of Nyquil). If you'd asked her three months ago, Clare would claim that she would never do this. She'd never run from her problems; she'd face them head on with God and Eli by her side.

But God let too many bad things happen for her to have much faith in Him anymore. Sure, she had a bit of a crisis of religion when her parents got divorced, but this was different.

God allowed her sister, her sweet, CARING sister to get sick. She devoted her life to helping His children in Africa, because GOD told her to do so. GOD made this happen to Darcy, as if she hadn't been through enough in her life…

Clare threw her head on her pillow, not wanting to think about Darcy anymore. All she had thought of for three months was Darcy this, Darcy that…and now the guilt of LEAVING Darcy crawled on Clare's skin like a disease.

Oh, and as for leaning on Eli…Clare had completely fucked THAT up.

Clare knew Eli was the only man for her. Even when she was a nerdy little girl, donned in knee-high socks and Mary Janes, she believed in the cliché concept of "soul mates." One day, she'd find her proverbial "Prince Charming" and he'd literally be the half of her heart that was missing. He'd be the missing piece she needed to be complete and function as a whole, the cog that made her run as an apt machine.

Maybe her "Prince Charming" turned out to be more of a "Gothic Bad Boy," but that beautiful soul shrouded in black certainly completed her. They were equals, partners, lovers, and friends. Or…they _were, _before she stupidly pushed him away.

Clare's tears fell from her eyes onto the paisley pillowcase she slept on when Eli brought her here.

"The best weekend ever," Clare whispered aloud as her memories drifted to their last night in the room.

"_Edwards, I read as much as the next guy, probably MORE, but really…do you NEED twenty new books?" Eli's arms were heavy with HER shopping bags and he couldn't help but laugh at the tiny fists flying towards him. _

"_No, but I need twenty OLD books, ELIJAH!" Clare continued to playfully punch her boyfriend, backing him into the bed. They tumbled onto it, Eli's arms tightly secured around Clare's waist and arms to keep her from "harming" him further. Her giggles subsided. "Thanks for bringing me here, Eli."_

"_No problem, Blue Eyes." He craned the back of her neck with one hand, keeping the other on the small of her back. She gave into his pull and placed her lips on his softly, permitting his tongue entrance soon following. _

_They kissed slowly for several minutes, neither making any move to go further. They had been having sex for a few months, but due to Eli's midterms and Clare's senior responsibilities they had had few oppurtunities to really be alone together and take their time._

_Clare, surprisingly, made the first move for advancement. She sat up and shrugged off her purple sweater, straddling Eli all the while. He sat up and pressed his thumbs on her hips, moving them in small circles. She let out a breathy little sigh and tugged on his band major jacket. He shrugged it off and threw it to the side to keep Clare's sweater company. They weren't moving quickly; slowly, they took their time. Time for tender strokes and ministrations on each other's bodies. Piece by piece, their clothing fell (was dropped) to the floor. Clare blushed; blood always rushed to her face the moment she realized her naked body was on full display for Eli. He smiled softly at her (smiled, not smirked), and gently laid her on the checkered bedspread. The pale blue walls of their rented room made her eyes glisten more brightly in the little bit of moonlight. He felt as though he were drowning without a lifesaver, clumsy as he tried to swim back to the surface where she patiently waited for him to love her._

"_Eli…kiss me."_

_He swallowed and obeyed. She placed him at her entrance, and without breaking the kiss, he pushed in slowly. With gentle thrusts, Eli ran his tongue along Clare's bottom lip, gasping when she nipped it softly. He pulled away and locked his eyes on hers; she shivered from both the intensity of his gaze and the slight tremors of pleasure already pulsing through her entire body._

_She raised her hips to his in a gentle, soft harmony. Their eyes never strayed from one another, and they finished in the quietest, yet most intense harmony._

_Eli pulled her naked body flush against his. "Are you okay?" _

_He still asked her this question every time they made love. Even though that's what they did, make love, he was terrified of losing control and hurting her._

"_I'm great," Clare whispered, turning in his arms to face him. She pecked his lips. "I love it here."_

"_Where? The inn?" He ran his nimble fingers through her slightly sweaty curls._

"_Yes. And here." She patted his arms and smirked._

"_Well, you can come here anytime you want." Eli chuckled and kissed her forehead. Sleep soon took them into its embrace for the last night of their adventure._

They hadn't been back since. Clare and Eli tried to sneak awayto the small town again, but their schedules just never lined up right for a trip out of Toronto.

Clare feared her behavior would keep her from ever entering Eli's arms again, so she went to her next favorite place, the inn in which she currently sobbed.

_Eli_

Martha, the bookstore owner/innkeeper, remembered seeing Eli with Clare.

"She seemed really upset," Martha noted as she handed Eli the spare key. He had quickly explained the call he received from Clare's sister, and Martha reluctantly agreed to bend the rules for him. She was a kind, elderly woman who talked extensively about literature with the couple during their visit.

As many books as he bought Clare at her store, Martha had BETTER given Eli the spare key.

He ran to the room she had chosen (the same one they shared) and opened the door.

The sight broke his heart: Clare, in black sweats and a green tank top, curled into the fetal position. She cried her eyes out in the dark room. Her sobs racked through her body, making her tremble. The intrusion in the room startled her into looking up.

Clare

"What…what are you doing here?" Clare sniffled.

Eli rushed to the bed and took the broken girl into his arms. "Darcy called me." He stroked her back as she clung to him.

"I…I didn't tell her where I'd be," she hiccupped.

"Nobody knew." He smiled. "I just…had a feeling you'd be here."

Clare cried harder and tightened her grip around his waist. "Are you…" she sobbed. "Are you here to break up with me?"

_Eli_

_Break UP with her?_

_Why in the name of anything that could possibly be Holy did Clare think he was going to BREAK UP with her?_

"No, Clare!" Eli pulled away from her, but kept one hand on her thigh. He couldn't bear to break their physical contact when she seemed so broken.

"Then what? You're here to take me home and do it there?" Clare's tears couldn't seem to cease. She reached for a tissue and blew her nose. "Just do it."

"Clare…" Eli took her red face in his hands and forced her gaze his way. "I'm not going to break up with you. I want you to tell me what's WRONG." He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and kissed her swollen cheeks.

"Oh Eli!" Clare threw her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. "I am so, SO sorry…"

"It's okay…calm down." Eli rubbed her back. "Look, Clare, you know I'm here. I'll always be here…as long as you need me, right?" He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "But you have to actually use your words to tell me what's wrong, okay?"

Clare sniffled and nodded. "Well, I guess it all started toward the end of Spring break…"

Eli nodded; he figured as much. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Does this have anything to do with Darcy being home?"

Clare paled and choked back a sob. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me she was back?" He asked as he rubbed her back.

"She didn't want anyone to know," Clare choked out between sniffles. "I've been…taking care of her."

"Okay. Why? Did she break her leg or something?" Eli didn't quite get it.

"No, Eli." She took in a deep breath. "Darcy got some medical training through a program affiliated with Free the Children…she was basically an RN without the official, North American certification."

"Okay, go on…" Eli smiled at his girlfriend, encouraging her to get through her story.

"Well, she loved working with children. But one day, there was an accident…long story short, she saved a little boy's life." Clare reached for another tissue. "Well, that's great, but that little boy was infected with HIV."

Eli sucked in a breath.

"She had to give him CPR…he had fallen into a river and nearly drowned. No one knew he was infected, but he has also just recovered-rather miraculously, by the way-from Tuberculosis." Clare wiped her tears. "He coughed up blood into her mouth."

"Oh, God…" Eli tried to pull Clare in for a hug, but she kept him at arm's length.

"Yeah, that's what WE all said," Clare said bitterly. "But not until she came home. Because you see, this whole accident happened EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO. My sister said she felt that God wanted her to stay in Africa and take care of the HIV infected kids."

"But…how did she get decent medical care there?" Eli was perplexed.

"She DIDN'T. My sister, PERFECT Darcy, stayed in Africa and FAILED TO TELL ANY OF US ABOUT THIS until she had full-blown AIDS." Clare's face distorted into one of anger. "Mom, as you know, had already started drinking a bit. She never really dealt with the divorce."

"Yeah…" Eli nodded. Clare slept at his apartment MANY nights when her mom was out with "friends" at bars.

"Well, this set her over the edge. She goes to work so she can pay for Darcy's at-home care and medication, but that's it. Darcy is too weak to move most of the time. I've been the one taking care of her. And she made me swear never to tell ANYONE. Dad's in Vancouver, he's been to visit her ONCE." Clare sniffled, again. "If she would have just come home when she got sick, she would have had YEARS. All the doctors say so."

"Clare…" Eli put his arms around her, and this time, she didn't push him away. "I'm so sorry."

"No, Eli, I'M sorry…I just…I knew you'd figure out something was up, and Darcy didn't want anyone to know, and I have come to you for an escape lately and that's not fair, and-"

Eli shut her up with a kiss. She responded to it tentatively. "It's okay." Eli pulled away to look her in the eye. "I think I, of all people, can understand pushing someone away for seemingly stupid reasons." He smirked. "But I'm here now, okay?"

"Really?" Clare leaned in to him.

"Yeah." He kissed her head. "I'm not going anywhere."

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Tomorrow is Sunday, so expect an update! Also, you can follow me on twitter (if you're up for random tweets) literarylolita**


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